No Parachute for Late Jumpers

In Stories of Home : Horror & Humor, Uncategorized by Andy Bozeman0 Comments

Homebuilding is not an activity well suited to procrastinators. Putting off important decisions about planning and building ( there are no UN-important ones ) is dangerous. To end up with a home that is right and ready you have to train yourself to think fast, and in-the-moment, but not like the guy in the following poem.

This is an excerpt from the book, IF I’D KNOWN THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN I BUILT MY HOUSE, I MIGHT’VE GONE CAMPING INSTEAD,

A Little Late

by Andy Bozeman

With a cellular phone in the palm of his hand

He deftly dialed Catalog Sales.

In quiet tranquility he was secure

In the thought that his phone never fails.

“May I help you?” she answered in catalog sales,

Her voice with a lilt like a flute.

“Yes, thanks.” he replied, then placed his request

For a single, deluxe parachute.

She took down his order and charged his account,

Then told him she’d send it and how.

“Not overnight air!” he nervously said.

“I need that delivered right now!”

And to that request she wryly replied

In a voice feigning slightly deep sorrow,

“It is with regret and should be no surprise,

But that won’t arrive ‘til tommorrow.”

In anger he quivered.

With gasping  he shivered.

His countenance turned to insane.

His face blushed to red as he yelled,

“That Won’t Do!

For I’ve Already Jumped From

The Plane!!”

The Very End

parachute falling

Thank you,

Andy Bozeman

Andy Bozeman is the author of
IF I’D KNOWN THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN I BUILT MY HOUSE, I MIGHT’VE GONE CAMPING INSTEAD
Available from Amazon Kindle
See similar educational articles related to the American dwelling industry at
American Home Journal, also by Andy Bozeman.

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